Friday, September 10, 2010

Inverse Critical Mass

You've probably heard of those Critical Mass bicycle rides? The ones, where a large group of bicyclists assembles and rides around on the busiest routes of the city in order to point out how badly arranged traffic conditions for bicyclists are. Or whatever. That's all fine and dandy, I might even partake someday, but now I'd like to propose another kind of a Critical Mass event.

On Inverse Critical Mass days (held monthly), all the people who normally commute by bicycle, foot or public traffic, assemble at rush hour on busiest streets of the city in their personal automobiles. If they don't own one, they should rent one, borrow a tractor or a lawnmover from their neighbour, or take a taxi. All kinds of large, noisy, smelly and pollutive vehicles are approved. The automobiles should be decorated with large signs announcing slogans such as "Inverse Critical Mass", "One Less Bicycle", "TGOPFTCOPPA (The Group Of People For The Cause Of Promoting Personal Automobiling)" etc.

I'd imagine that the event would look something like this:

There is a type of driver that seems to think bicyclists in traffic are a nuisance. Perhaps Inverse Critical Mass could help them understand that anybody who chooses to ride a bike instead of a car in a crowded city is actually doing a favour for them. It would really be a nuisance if everyone always transported 2000 kg of car with them everywhere. Perhaps Inverse Critical Mass could help devoted personal automobilists appreciate bicyclists, pedestrians and public traffic users a little bit more.

One Less More Car!